take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
