yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
