Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
