don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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