Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
