omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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