HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
