I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
