we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
