He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize