Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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