yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
