It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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