Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Randomize