Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
