Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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