she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
