Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
