You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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