what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
