i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
