we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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