I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
