the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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