I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
You dont lie about slip and slides
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
