We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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