There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
