I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
