Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Randomize
