cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize