Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
