Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
