just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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