There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
