roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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