is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
wow bdsm is so cute
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
