From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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