Your dad touched me again.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
