omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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