I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
