But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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