I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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