im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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