no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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