why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
