I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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