You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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