If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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