My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
