i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
