Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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