Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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