also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
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