I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
