Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
