matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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